What made a 12-year-old strangle his classmate over a minor incident in New Delhi? In another city, a class monitor, in his enthusiasm to maintain discipline in the classroom, kicked a student in the groin who succumbed to his injuries on the way to the hospital. A child was bludgeoned by his schoolmate following a minor fight. Two students killed several classmates and a teacher in another part of the world.
Children involved in these incidents may be geographically far apart, yet the desire for violence among them seems identical and alarmingly on the rise. From no-holds-barred movie and book scenes to acts of violence viral on social media, from aggressive role models to facing aggression at home, schools, or the playground, there are many factors through which society has normalised violence. We have helped desensitise our young to the pain of others and the fallout of conflict occurring around them.
Was brutality a part of the childhood of the perpetrators of violence? These acts and more throw a spotlight on fragmented family structures and the lack of educational institutions’ investment in the well-being of their students.
Today, social integration, mental health and emotional well-being have to be integral to schooling, but, for too many boys and girls, school is where they experience violence, bullying, harassment, verbal abuse, and sometimes exploitation, at the hands of peers or teachers or even the inscrutable school authority. Every child has the right to go to school free from fear. In the best circumstances, schools should put children on the path to a promising future.
The learning landscape in metros is dotted with steel, glass, and concrete structures with manicured atria and centrally air-conditioned environs that can put a five-star hotel to shame. If the brand has worked in the eyes of the parent, what actually happens behind the walls is seldom examined.
At the heart of all schooling lies shared meaning, engagement, and understanding. This is the collective dialogue which the child internalises and turns into a personalised monologue of empathy and compassion. As parents and educators, we must remember that challenging behaviour does not happen overnight. Children cannot identify or communicate disruption in the manner that adults do. Their anger often rises from fear, defiance from manipulation, and violence from anxiety, a result of a damaged connection between the adult world and that of the child and her/his peers.
Education has become extremely aspirational. This has resulted in ghettoisation in schools as classrooms become challenging spaces with students from varying social, cultural and economic backgrounds, sometimes with the baggage of single/divorced parents, domestic violence, or some other familial factor. A plethora of behavioural issues result from such social contexts. This has created both interdependence and insecurity. It has led to the strong and weak, the majority and minority, the rich and poor feel equally threatened by the other.
We continue to focus on embedding the three R: Reading, wRiting, aRithmetic because we intrinsically believe that this will get our children the livelihoods that we desire. We never stop to worry that our children can’t relax, cope with anxiety, aggression, and envy, are unable to express tenderness and trust, and have no understanding of who they are or even that they have a self to find. If the basic skills are not empathy, resilience, compassion, relationship building and reflection, then schooling is doing nothing for a child’s health, happiness, sanity or survival.
The recent incidents are not merely tragic; they are a loud alarm that we can’t silence. Schools and homes have to go much beyond what they are today. Teachers have to be trained to identify early signs of aggression and distress so that they can intervene before violent emotions manifest themselves. Social-emotional learning needs to be integrated into every aspect of the curriculum, and not be offered as just an optional area. Homes need to be spaces of understanding with healthy responses and active listening to nurture emotionally resilient children.
We need to engage children through the dignity that is in them. Our basic mission as parents and teachers is to acknowledge and work with it. Most children at any age seem challenging and disruptive at times. We need to understand the reasons behind their behaviour.
The lack of a robust emotional vocabulary often leads children to express frustration through physical means. Without tools to articulate their struggles or a safe space to share their pain, they lash out. This raises difficult questions: Are we, as a society, raising children to see violence as an acceptable way to resolve conflicts? Are they mirroring the aggression they see in their homes, schools, media, or from the adults they trust? Can we go beyond another headline and make these tragic incidents a turning point in the way we envision the future of our children?
Ameeta Mulla Wattal is chairperson and executive director – Education, Innovations and Training, DLF Foundation Schools and Scholarship Programmes.The views expressed are personal
