The recent Australia tour left Virat Kohli experiencing “the most intense kind of disappointment” he had previously only felt in the summer of 2014, after he went through a wretched tour of England without a single half-century in 10 innings.
Like he was all those years ago in England, Kohli was frustrated by his vulnerability outside the off stump during the Border-Gavaskar Trophy. After starting the series with an unbeaten 100 in India’s win in Perth, eight of his other trips to the crease ended with his outside edge being snaffled up by the wicketkeeper or in the slips. In all, he managed just 190 runs in nine innings at 23.75.
“If you ask me the intensity of how disappointed I’ve been, the most recent Australia tour would be the one that’s most fresh. So it might feel the most intense to me,” Kohli said at an event moderated by Isa Guha at the RCB Innovation Lab Indian Sports Summit in Bengaluru.
“For a long time, the tour of England in 2014 bothered me the most. But I can’t look at it that way. I might not have an Australia tour again in four years. I don’t know. You have to make peace with whatever’s happened in your life. In 2014, I still had the chance to go in 2018 and do what I did. It might not have been the case. It might have been another blunder. But it didn’t turn out that way.
“So, there’s no such guarantees in life. I think when you are at a stage for a long period of time, when you perform, people get used to your performances. They start feeling for you more than you feel sometimes. This has to be corrected.”
Kohli revealed he had moments in Australia where the lack of scores made him over-eager to correct things with every ticking innings. However, he understood the importance of soaking in the disappointment, before making a hasty decision.
“Once you start taking on the energy and the disappointment from the outside, then you start burdening yourself way more,” Kohli said. “And then you start thinking about things, like ‘I’ve got two or three days left on this tour, I need to make an impact now.’ And you start getting more desperate. That’s something I’ve surely experienced in Australia as well.
“Because I got a good score in the first Test. I thought, right, ‘let’s go.’ There’s going to be another big series for me. It doesn’t turn out that way. For me, it’s just about the acceptance of, ‘okay fine, this is what happened. I’m going to be honest with myself. Where do I want to go? What are my energy levels like?’
“I’m not sitting here in 48 hours or 72 hours-time to make a decision like ‘let me go.’ Spend time with family. Just sit down. Let everything calm down. And see how I feel in a few days. And within five-six days I was excited to go to the gym. I was like, okay fine. It’s all good. I don’t need to tweet anything right now.”
“It pretty much comes down to just the pure joy and enjoyment and love for the game. And as long as that love is intact, I will continue to play the game.”
Virat Kohli
In saying everything he did about overcoming disappointments and facing challenges, Kohli also stated the “joy, enjoyment and love for the game” was still intact. But a recent conversation with former India captain and coach Rahul Dravid helped bring perspective about “when the right time is.”
“Me playing the game is not for achievement,” he said. “It pretty much comes down to just the pure joy and enjoyment and love for the game. And as long as that love is intact, I will continue to play the game. I have to be honest about that with myself. Because the competitive streak doesn’t allow you to find the answer.
“Recently, I had a very interesting conversation with Rahul Dravid when he was our coach. He said you always have to stay in touch with yourself. Figure out where you are placed in your life. And the answer is not that easy, because you might be going through a lean phase and you feel like ‘this is it.’ But it might not be.
“But then when it was time, he said my competitive streak would not allow me to accept it. Maybe one more. Maybe six more months, whatever. So, I think it’s a fine balance. And you have to just pray and hope that you get clarity when it comes. At this point in my life, I feel pretty happy. I still love playing the game. Don’t get nervous, I’m not making any announcements, as of now, everything is fine.”
