There’s a lot of buzz – that’s the first impression you get when you enter the Irani home. Brothers Danesh and Kayoze are having an animated conversation with their father
Boman Irani
, about who among them is the best at video-game soccer, and mumma Zenobia is having a hearty laugh as the three men continue their banter. It takes us a moment to realise that the brothers are referring to their father when they keep calling him ‘Boms’.
‘Everyone should have their own views, otherwise, it will be a boring house’
Boman is quick to clarify that even though they call each other by quirky nicknames, it doesn’t mean they have any less respect for each other.
“We are one boisterous family – we talk, laugh, eat ,and celebrate together,” says the actor, as he tells us about his equation with his sons. “It is not that this home is devoid of friction and arguments, but they happen in a healthy way. Everyone should have their own views; otherwise, it will be a boring house,” he shares.
‘My understanding of fatherhood is shaped by what my mother showed me’
Today, the Irani household is predominantly male, a stark contrast to Boman’s upbringing where he was surrounded by his mother and three sisters. He says, “We pick on Zenobia (his wife) a lot. Jokes aside, she is the main force that holds everything together. Let’s make no mistake about it.”
The actor’s father passed away six months before he was born. He was raised by a single mom, did that influence his approach to fatherhood? “My understanding of fatherhood is shaped by what my mother showed me. I don’t have clear references for what fatherhood is supposed to be. I think it’s instinctive. Just when I thought I had it all figured out after Danesh, Kayoze came along, and it wasn’t the same pattern because they have different personalities. In trying to get the upbringing right, you can either be too lenient or too harsh. I have aimed for a mid-level intensity,” he replies.
Boman with Kayoze and Danesh and his grandson, Ziaan (Instagram)
Meeting our parents never feels like a duty: Kayoze
Although Danesh and Kayoze live separately, they are regular at their parents’ house. Actor-director, Kayoze says, “We both (brothers) love to come home to spend time with our parents, it never feels like a duty. We sit in the living room, chat, have dinner together, and play video-game soccer. We share our emotions and feelings quite openly in this house. We don’t leave this house without telling everyone, ‘I love you’. Mom has a rule that no one is allowed to leave the house angry. If there is an argument, we resolve it the same night. It’s a part of who we are. Friendship is the first relationship we share with parents.”
‘The only way to go about life is to make each other laugh’
Years before Boman entered showbiz, the family struggled to make ends meet. However, they never let their children feel the pinch. Danesh, who is involved in film production and content creation, shares, “Things haven’t really changed much since those days. It’s just that when we got things, we truly appreciated their value. There was a phase when we weren’t financially very comfortable, but we never felt it because we laughed our way through it.” Boman adds, “The only way to go about life is to make each other laugh.”
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‘The trust and respect you earn are the true legacy, not your bank balance’
Boman stresses the importance of a strong value system over anything else. He says, “Zenobia and I follow one principle: You can’t tell people what to do. You have to lead by example, and they will follow. Of course, I am happy when someone says, ‘Oh, your son has made a great film’, but how they treated people while making it is more important to me. The trust and respect you earn are the true legacy, not your bank balance.”
